An innocent maiden named Herridge,
was cruelly tricked into marriage;
when she later found out
what her spouse was about,
she threw herself under a carriage.
Each night father fills me with dread
when he sits on the foot of my bed;
I'd not mind that he speaks
in gibbers & squeaks
but for seventeen years he's been dead.
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
wished to foster an aura of menace;
to make people afraid
he wore gloves of grey suede
and white footgear intended for tennis.
A lady born under a curse
used to drive forth each day in a hearse;
from the back she would wail
through a thickness of veil:
"Things do not get better, but worse."
A young man grew increasingly peaky
in a house where the hinges were squeaky,
the ferns curled up brown,
the ceilings flaked down,
and all of the faucets were leaky.
A gift was delivered to Laura
from a cousin who lived in Gomorrah;
wrapped in tissue and crepe,
it was peeled, like a grape,
and emitted a pale, greenish aura.
There was a young woman whose stammer
was atrocious, & so was her grammar;
but they were not improved
when her husband was moved
to knock out her teeth with a hammer.